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Fear of Intimacy Scale - Relationship phobia
Why We Pull Away from the People We Love
Faraz Ali
November 14, 2025
In partnership with
Getting close to someone can be the most comforting and the most terrifying experience in life. Many people crave deep connection but subconsciously build emotional walls to protect themselves. The Fear of Intimacy Scale helps you understand those barriers and reveals how your attachment style influences closeness, trust, and vulnerability in relationships.
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What This Scale Measures
The test explores emotional and relational patterns that keep you from opening up. It looks at how comfortable you are with self-disclosure, physical closeness, and mutual dependency. High scores often reflect difficulty in trusting others or fear of rejection, while low scores indicate a natural ease in forming and maintaining intimacy.
Fear of intimacy often begins long before romantic relationships. Childhood experiences, inconsistent caregivers, or past betrayals can teach the nervous system that closeness equals danger. This test helps you uncover the emotional scripts that shape how you connect and protect yourself.
If you want to understand these patterns more deeply, try the Attachment Style Questionnaire to explore how secure, anxious, or avoidant your bond patterns might be.
How Fear of Intimacy Affects Relationships
When fear drives connection, partners may experience mixed signals—seeking closeness one moment and withdrawing the next. These cycles can create confusion, loneliness, or resentment. The Emotional Availability Test and Relationship Satisfaction Scale can help you see how this fear shows up in daily dynamics.
Moving Toward Trust and Openness
Awareness is the first step toward healing. The more you understand your emotional defenses, the more control you gain over them. Techniques like mindfulness, honest communication, and gradual vulnerability can help you shift from fear to safety. The Communication Skills Assessment is a great complement if you’re learning how to express needs without fear of judgment.
Closeness Is a Courageous Choice
Intimacy is not the absence of fear. It’s the willingness to stay open even when fear appears. Every step toward connection is a step toward freedom from old wounds.
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